Thread:BettaWolf/@comment-35400383-20180331214035

"Son, I know you're all for religion," Mother murmured, filling her cup of espresso, "but I think you're going too far."

The heavens split and years since the Great Crusade corrupted, glitching the known universe. The poorly clad knight lifted his rifle and stomped angrily out of the house.

"It's my duty to serve my country," he expressed. "Let us begin a new conquest."

BettaWolf (talk) 21:40, March 31, 2018 (UTC)

The beginning of the crusade was malignant as generations say, time and time again. But it was a crucial turning point if the Reformed Knights were to succeed. So be it that men old enough for active duty paraded out into the night, hoisting guns, swords, and a dutiful loyalty against the Calcium Assholes™.

"Chivalry isn't dead," they shouted, bones rattling against sword. "Why the hell did we think that guns would help to kill floating ribcages and pelvises?"

But they proved efficient. It was enough to spook the skeletons away from the threatened villages and maintain an order of peace.

Dogs joined the line as snipers. Cats became skilled in guerrila warfare and enlisted. The world was uniting against a single front.

The reboot of God appeared, holding a mighty sword sheath and a certificate of Honor™ at The Conference.

"So you're telling me that these Halloween decorations got up and started a whole new fucking war? Holy shit." He shuffled his papers, adjusting his movie theater glasses and reassuming his position. The audience clapped, taking to the skies on the backs of Soviet rockets.

"It's part of a series on communism," a reporter declared.

A man stepped into the room, smiling cheerfully. "Hi, I'm from Windows 7 Repairs on the call of a broken window. Where do I begin?"

The reboot of God tearfully pointed to the glass ceiling, tears rolling from his eyes and striking all ten bowling pins.

"Excellent." The repairsman bundled both home and safety insurance plans into one giant country affair.

the great crusade shall be continued 