Thread:Cozysundew33/@comment-33057205-20180516201424/@comment-33057205-20180522172511

Yesterday was my last orchestra concert. My teacher was giving out awards and the last portion was the four-year member awards for those who stay in the orchesta program for all four years when only one is required. Before he said my name he said "This one is kind of unique because I had this student when i student taught at (my elementary school), Breanna (my last name).". OMFG. He was starting to cry before this. The instant he paused before starting to give out these awards, I wanted to cry to but then he said that and yeah thats what got me really crying. Anyway, I stared at the words "commitment and dedication" just thinking im an absolute failure because there are so many thing that my peers in that class know that i still cant get a grip on, even things that were taught in middle school and maybe even elementary and fudge i cant even hold my voilin and bow correctly still and I never spoke up and went to talk to him about it because i didnt want to feel like an idiot in front of my peers or really even him. When we were going to the auditorium I asked him to tune my violin. I mean there was a slight chance it was out of tune, but really I waited until everyone else was out of the room. When we left the room i said something and he said "what?" and I said "I dont really think I deserve that award." and he said I deserve it just as every other kid does. During the concert I knew i was going to cry again, and then the next three times im just like fudge I have to stop crying! and then i nearly cry again while playing "My Heart Will Go On." from Titanic because I was realizing SO MUCH of some things he was trying to get across to the class and realizing that I really dont want this(today, holly shiznit) to be the last time I play my voilin and that I really do love music and there is a lot to it.